snapchatting:

girl: dad i’m pregnant

dad: ha ha nice to meet u pregnant, i’m dad!!!

(via ant0rm)

95,475 notes

burgerkid:

operator: hello 911, whats your emergency?

me: my wifi isnt working

(via ant0rm)

63,607 notes

lnsomaniac:

uniteed:

Instead of calling girls thirsty, we should call them D Hydrated.

The future is now

(via ant0rm)

153,845 notes

unacted:

girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it’s cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick

(via encourage)

182,098 notes

humqn:

is your name tumblr because i want to be on you all night long ;)

(Source: indulge-e, via booyoulicklewhore)

57,744 notes

spoopee:

kldzbop:

what do bugs do for fun

they ruin lives

(via measurable)

89,536 notes

embarrassmental:

narcotic:

what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality

image

(via cloudy-dreamers)

219,473 notes

asinglegarbanzobeanonitaliantile:

me as a lawyer: kk that was rude . 

(via manda)

422,053 notes